Sexy hairStyle for Snape
by Pleasing.the.Yaoi.Gods
Summary: Snape is sulking because Sirius Black managed to escape, but during his sulking Lucius Malfoy appears and is dead set on doing something about Snape's greasy hair.


Author's Note: More Snape abuse! OK so maybe it's not really abusive and maybe the hair joke is overdone, but I _really_ wanted to write about it, so please, enjoy!

It was late summer and that meant that the students of Hogwarts busily finishing the homework assignments that they had been neglecting all summer. The professors on the other hand were enjoying the rest of their brat free time, having already completed their lessons plans. One professor in particular was sitting alone in his sitting room, the curtains closed and enveloped in a very foul mood indeed.

Severus Snape, Hogwart's Potion's Master, sat in his faded black arm chair, glaring down at the book he held in his hand. He was trying to pass the evening by pleasantly with a book filled with various essays on a new potion that was said to make the drinker paranoid. It intrigued Snape when he had glimpsed it at the bookstore and so he had bought it but now, as he tried to read he all he could about was how angry he was at the previous school year.

Sirius Black had escaped, and Dumbledore hadn't done anything about it! It was disgusting, Snape thought, how that bastard just slipped away. He knew that Potter had to be behind it, but there was no way to prove it. Snape glared at the words in his book and then snapped it shut, giving up on reading. He was just too upset at the injustice of everything.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Snape frowned, who could be at his house? No one ever visited him, well except for the occasionally visit from Lucius Malfoy when he was feeling particularly needy and Narcissa got tired of him. Snape sighed and got up from his seat. He walked to the door and opened it. Sure enough outside was Lucius Malfoy looking as imposing as ever in his impressive black/green robes (despite is being summer) sexy long blonde hair and awesome pimp cane that concealed his wand.

"Hello Lucius," Snape said in a dull tone.

"Hello Severus," Lucius said. "I have come due to a very important matter."

"And that would be?"

"Your hair."

The Potion's Master stared blankly at his friend. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me perfectly Severus. I am here on account of your hair which is offensive and ruins your intimidation."

"Oh really," Snape said. He did not have the patience to indulge in Lucius's odd reasoning or words.

"Yes really. I hear that your greasy locks cause your students to make fun of you and that is not acceptable. You are the Potion's Master Severus! You ought to be striking fear into those brat's hearts."

Snape gave Lucius a confused look. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Did Narcissa ditch you today?"

Lucius's noble bottom lip trembled slightly but then he huffed annoyed. "No," he said but Snape could tell that he was lying. "That is beside the point. I have set up an appointment for you at my saloon and so we should be going."

"I'd rather not Lucius," Snape said trying to inch his way back into his house. He had little desire to deal with a spurned Lucius Malfoy.

"You don't have a choice Severus. You cannot allow those brats to tease you any longer, and I as your dear friend who just so happens to have the sexiest hair in the Wizarding World is willing to help you. "

Snape rolled his eyes but he knew that he would not be allowed to decline Lucius' demand. "Very well," he said and walked out of his house as they were still standing by the door. He locked it and then Lucius, who had an appeased smile on his face told Snape where to apperate to and then with a loud crack was gone. Snape considered not following for half a second but then decided that hearing Lucius whine about how he had ditched him would not be worth it. Snape often wished that Lucius would act like he did in front of people the blonde found to be lesser than him all the time. Cool and snobby Snape could deal with. Perhaps Snape should drop in on Narcissa and see if she would stop leaving her husband to go be with her own friends.

After an unpleasant apperation, Snape never did like traveling that way, he found himself in front of a very chic looking establishment. Of course is was for wizards, Lucius Malfoy was too much of a snob to even think about letting a Muggle touch his precious hair.

"Ready to acquire a look that says "I'm evil yet sexy so kiss my boots'?"

"No."

"Hahaha, you're always so serious Severus. Lighten up would you, I'm spending time with you and doing you a huge favor! I know that you've been locked up in your house pouting because Black got away."

"Let's just get this over with," Snape said. Lucius sighed at his friends ever unhappiness and led him inside. Once Snape had a good look around the place he turned around. "I'm leaving."

"What? You just got here."

"And I can already tell that this place is full of fairy-princesses who don't have the right body parts to catch Prince Charming's eye that or nasty little wenches who are just dying to talk off some poor victim who has chosen to sit in their chair."

"You're harsh Severus." But Lucius had to nod in agreement with his friend, the place was full of poufs and double-faced witches. "But you can't back out now."

"I don't see why not."

"because I have already paid for the appointment," Lucius reasoned and took him by the arm, leading him to the receptionist's desk. "Hello David," Lucius drawled.

"Why hello Mr. Malfoy," a young man practically purred. He was tall and fit, but with boyishly curly brown hair, he looked like he was maybe five years out of Hogwarts. The salon receptionist turned to Snape and looked like he had just seen a ghost. "P-Professor Snape?" His voice had gone oddly high pitched.

Snape turned to Lucius. "If you look at the evidence before us I still strike fear into the student's hearts."

Lucius frowned. "I never said that you weren't scary, I merely said you needed to be sexy scary." The receptionist, David, went pale at the words. "Plus you can't have the students making rude remarks about your hair; it causes you to lose intimidation points. Now David I have an appointment for Mr. Snape."

"Ah yes," David said trying to recover from the scary mental image of Snape trying to be sexy that no doubt had popped into his head. "You'll be with Audrey, seat 4 Professor Snape."

"Thank you," Lucius said and nearly dragged Snape to the stylist's chair.

Two hours later, after the stylist had seen Snape's hair and practically screamed that it was impossible, and a lot of whinnying on Lucius and the hair stylist's part and grumbling on Snape's part, Snape was done. He looked into the mirror and groaned. "I hate you Lucius."

"Oh you love me," Lucius said smiling. "So Audrey what will Severus have to do to keep up this hairstyle?"

Audrey, a young man whose hair was blue and had sneered upon seeing Snape frowned. "I do not know," he said in a thick French accent. "'is 'air is so greasy. Do you even know what shampoo is?"

Snape sneered. "Of course I do."

"Zen use it! As for the fluffiness I 'ave managed to give to ze 'air is will not last past tomorrow and don't expect to get it back without professional 'elp."

"Perhaps we should go elsewhere," Lucius said in a cold voice.

"No," Snape said. "I will not under-go such torture again."

"Very well," Lucius said, and then the two intimidating men strolled out of the saloon, without paying a tip.

Lucius then took Snape to his home where they sat in the blonde man's study, sipping some tea. "I'm sorry Severus I really thought that we could get your hair to be permanently amazing." Snape glared at his friend over his tea-cup. "Oh well it looks very nice right now." Lucius sighed and took a sip of tea. As he brought the cup away from his mouth his face suddenly lit up. Snape wondered if he could make an excuse quick enough to escape.

"Thank you Lucius but-"

"You know Severus," Lucius began a creepy smirk on his face. "it's too bad you won't get to test it on any of your students."

"I doubt they would notice," Snape said.

"Oh but I think that they would. Let's find out."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

"My son of course. He has some of his friends over right now."

Snape groaned. He did not want to be presented in front of his students for their comments on this awful hair-do that pouf has given him. "I'll pass."

"Come on Severus, do you really want all of that time to go to waste?"

"I frankly don't care."

Lucius pouted and Snape sighed annoyed. He hated it when Lucius did that, it made him feel like a husband who was neglecting his wife which was so wrong because Snape did not like men and even if he did Lucius Malfoy would be the fourth to last person on the list of possible man/wives (Voldemort being #1 because he was utterly undesirable to anyone, James Potter being #2 because he hated him and had stolen the love of his life, and Sirius Black being #3 because he was a prat).

"Very well, just stop with that ridiculous face of yours."

Lucius smirked in triumph. "Wait here."

While Snape waited he looked over at the fire-place wishing that he could simply just Floo home and be rid of Lucius Malfoy. Within a matter of minutes though, Lucius was walking back inside his study followed by his son and heir Draco Malfoy, and young Malfoy's friend's Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Blaise Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson.

"Alright now children," Lucius said as he ushered them in. "What do you think of Professor Snape's new hair style?"

The five teenagers stared at Snape and he looked back, the threat of a yearlong detention in his eyes for anyone who dared say anything.

"Really Father?"

"Yes Draco, now tell Professor Snape what you think of his hair."

Draco Malfoy groaned. "It looks great, are you happy?"

"How dare you use that tone with me," Lucius said. "I will take away your broom for the remainder of the summer."

"Fine sorry. Snape's hair looks wonderful father."

"Professor Snape," Lucius corrected his son and then rounded on his son's friends. It appeared that in Malfoy Manor Lucius Malfoy, as house wife as he acted, was more intimidating than Professor Snape which really proved Snape's new hair-style to be useless, but of course Lucius did not see it that way.

"Well children?"

"Uh yeah it's great."

"Really spiffy."

"you look good Professor."

"It's not as greasy anymore."

The last comment had come from Pansy Parkinson and Snape stared down the girl, but she looked back defiantly with no fear. Snape had never really liked her.

"See Severus, it worked. You can go back and play now children."

"We're not kids any more Father," Draco grumbled.

"Do not grumble Draco, it shows poor manners," Lucius instructed as his son and his son's friends left the room. "Well?" Lucius said, looking at Snape expectantly. "Shall we make you another appointment?"

"I'm leaving," Snape said.

"But why?"

"Because I have things to get done before summer ends."

Lucius pouted, but it was clear that he was going to let Snape go. "Fine. I'll see you later then."

"Goodbye Lucius."

"Don't forget to owl me," Lucius said, but Snape had already stepped into the fireplace and flooed back to his own house, far away from Lucius Malfoy.

a/n: Oh how I enjoy writing about silly Lucius. Please review


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